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christinedaaeThis is a long overdue post chronicling as much as I can publicly what led up to my heart attack at work in November as well as the aftermath. If you've been following along, consider this a refresher. If this is the first time you're hearing of this, then... surprise! I had a heart attack at work in November! I have a lawyer! Litigation has begun!
...eek.
This has been the most terrifying time of my life. Multiple ER visits, hospitalization, lawyer visits + phone calls, and a doctor taking my hands in his, begging me to stay out of the grave.
Goodness. I knew I was tenderhearted, but I certainly never expected this.
Right. Let's begin. First things first, I cannot publicly name names, nor give many details about where I work or who my coworkers are. Libel laws in Japan are incredibly strict - even if something is true and can be proven, if it damages the reputation of a person, business, etc? They can sue right back. It's very frustrating, especially when you're trying to pursue justice and warn others.
So, with that in mind?
I work at Toxic Job. Toxic Job is An Elementary School in Japan. What kind of school (as in is it public, private, etc)? Can't say. The dramatis personae of this (unfortunately) very real tale are:
Me, bewilderingly
Senpai
Female Work Bestie
Male Work Bestie
The Vice Principal
As you may know, the academic year begins in April in Japan. I was hired in February last year, and back then I was feeling incredibly positive about my life. I had just moved into a cozy little house that wasn't much more than the apartment I'd lived in with my ex-husband. I was finally making enough money to live, though I was working three part-time jobs. To my delight, I had been offered a full-time position starting in April of 2024, and I would make the most amount of money I've ever made in Japan. Plus, I was going to have private insurance, pension and taxes taken care of, etc. Who could ask for anything more, right?
...right?
In my personal experience, one of the biggest red flags that a job is Secretly Toxic is if it tries too hard to say, "We're a family." I was surprised to be asked to go to an overnight retreat with my new coworkers. The two days there with people I had never met before save perhaps one or two at my interview were filled with "teambuilding activities", and the purpose was to not only introduce the school, but also have us bond.
That's nice. So, when can I actually start preparing for my classes? When can I know what to expect for my actual job?
To my dismay, the school was disorganized enough that I didn't even sign my contract until five days after the semester began. Underneath all of the Rainbows and Sunshine and Everything is Great and We're Family was an entirely different picture. And to my shock, everything was chaos. Head Teacher quit two weeks into the semester, leaving the English department abandoned. Textbooks for the semester was a mess. The curriculum was a joke. It was all ridiculously stressful, and I'm barely going into it (because public).
My coworkers kept me sane... except my Senpai.
Senpai isn't the kind of person who should be someone's senpai, and this is not their fault. Perhaps this is the naïve part of me that wants desperately to believe in the good of others, but Senpai was out of their depth. Senpai didn't have the management experience to be Head Teacher, and was simply tossed into the role because they had been there the longest. I don't know what was going on in their head. I can't speak for them. But eventually, my daily life became extremely stressful because of them.
Senpai began to micromanage me to a frankly toxic degree. It got eventually to a point where whenever I heard them inhale to speak, I was on edge. Unfortunately, I am a people-pleaser through and through, and I always want to help and to maintain peace. But Senpai honestly made it almost impossible to work well. They would say things like, "Hey, did you know that I'm gonna be the one to decide if you keep your job?" Of course this would make me panic! I immediately wondered if I was doing a bad job! It was always tense with Senpai, and I felt like I was constantly looking over my shoulder.
I really believe if Senpai hadn't been tossed into that role, we would've gotten along okay. I think Senpai was under a lot of pressure, and that was affecting how they interact with others. Maybe I'm being too kind or forgiving. But ultimately, I honestly forgive Senpai.
Who I don't forgive... is the Vice Principal.
Eventually, things hit a breaking point for me. I was far too stressed because of Senpai, and I'm Very Bad at Confrontation. I felt like I was unable to really do my job because of the micromanaging and power harassment, even if it was unintentional on Senpai's part. So, I went to the VP and had a meeting. I had chronicled Senpai's behavior and named instances + dates. The VP heard me out and said that this kind of behavior from Senpai was unacceptable, and the VP would talk to them.
It never happened.
Eventually, the VP would confess to Female Work Bestie and Male Work Bestie that despite promising me that she would talk to Senpai? She refused to do it, because she "felt sorry for Senpai". Others had problems with Senpai as well, so she felt like we were "ganging up on Senpai unfairly" and wanted us to solve it ourselves.
This crushed me. I had relied on her to help me, to correct this behavior that was frankly causing me severe anxiety over a period of months. But instead, I was rewarded with her disdain. Soon, she began to take Senpai's place in the micromanaging and power harassment of me, but unlike Senpai, I don't think this was unintentional. She even gossiped negatively about me to my coworkers (including one incident I overheard, where she literally immediately turned around and was pleasant to my face, right after talking badly about me).
If you've worked in Japan long enough, you probably recognize this pattern. Because I dared "cause a problem" by filing a formal complaint, I'm now the bad guy. The VP had it out for me, and there was absolutely nothing I could do. I think this is why I forgive Senpai over the VP. Senpai is just... extremely flawed and probably not very self-aware. I wish them insight and more kindness learned. But the VP intentionally made a decision to not only refuse to help me, but participate in the exact same mistreatment, only worse.
Then I had my heart attack.
It was the day before a very important school festival in November. The month leading up to it had been chaos with costumes, props, rehearsal, the entire nine yards. I was so stressed out because of how badly the VP had it out for me, I even forgot my lunch that day. I was a jittery mess, but trying to hold it together for the kids as best as I could. Everything was for the kids.
That was when my heart started to race out of nowhere. Once. Twice. Three times.
Concerned, I went to the school nurse. I showed her my Apple Watch, where it said my heart rate spiked to 150 out of nowhere multiple times in the past few minutes. But then someone needed me in the gym, so I said I would come back shortly if I was still feeling off.
I never should've left her office.
The next thing I knew, I was falling. The ceiling of the gym blossomed before my vision as my heart clenched. It felt as if I couldn't breathe, and a damning tingling raced up my arm, numbing me to everything but a single fact.
Oh god. I think I'm having a heart attack.
Tears were falling down my face; I couldn't speak well, and the only way I could think of for how to explain what was going on was to show my smartwatch to my coworkers. The moment they saw 192 bpm on the display, they called an ambulance. I was sent to the ER and hospitalized, where I was given a portable ECG to monitor my heart during my stay.
At least the meals weren't terrible. To be honest, they were decently yummy, but certainly not the world's best food.
As soon as I was released out of the hospital, I went to my regular doctor. Thankfully, he is also a cardiologist (I should have guessed by the literal model of the human heart on his desk), so I felt ridiculously relieved. He's been my doctor for a while, so he was extremely shocked. I wasn't even 40 years old yet and I had a heart attack? Blood pressure was 160/90 and I had stage two hypertension? Yikes! Given that I grew up as a competitive swimmer, I had excellent heart health previously. My job-mandated medical exam back in July even proved that. No previous abnormalities. Nothing. He put me on medical leave for a month, fully expecting to extend it.
My life has been chaos ever since.
First things first, I sought out a lawyer once I was formally on medical leave. I will be happy to recommend him once all of this is over, but until then, his identity will be a secret. He reviewed my case and then went with me to try and apply for 労災 (worker’s compensation) at the labor office. Unfortunately, I didn't have any recordings of what Senpai said to me, nor the meeting with the VP where she promised to talk to Senpai and then never did. Without these things, we couldn't prove that the harassment and anxiety from mistreatment were the direct cause of my heart attack. So, 労災 was out.
After that, I went to apply for 傷病手当金 (accident and sickness benefits) from medical insurance. I thought this was going to be done in real time, but the private insurance I have via Toxic Job doesn't allow anything to be filled out by my doctor until after the period of medical leave has finished. So, for the first medical leave, I couldn't even submit it until after December 26th. It honestly is disappointing, however national health insurance typically pays 60% of your salary. My private insurance will pay 80%. So, even though it's delayed, at least it's a larger sum.
My job, naturally, threw a fit about all of it.
Me: This medical certificate verifies that I had a heart attack three weeks ago. My leave is until the 26th of December
My job: So, are you coming to work before then?
Me: ….??????????? No??????? I’m on medical leave???? Why would I come to work?
My job: But we have closing ceremonies for the end of the semester on the 21st
Me: My medical leave is until the 26th. You have a physical copy in your hands that verifies that.
My job: So…. You’re not coming in before the 26th?
Me: WHY. WOULD. I.
In the meantime, I learned far more about the Japanese legal system then I ever thought possible (understandably). I'll go into that on another post, because it's a lot. A lot. But my job began to show signs that I was going to be illegally dismissed, and finally on Christmas Day (!!!!!), the day before I was supposed to be off medical leave, my job sent me a letter saying that due to being gone for "too long" on medical leave from my heart attack, they were letting me go in 30 days.
This was it. This was the ammo my lawyer needed to pursue litigation based on illegal dismissal (不当解雇). I was not permanently injured, so they didn't have a right to let me go. They tried to cite that according to their own handbook, they could let me go for any reason that they decided internally, because I was still on probation. But that's not true either. Even if you're on probation, you still have the same rights as a full employee. Your employer cannot just get rid of you because they feel like it. They must have a legally valid reason and be able to prove it. Anything less is illegal dismissal.
Originally, their plan was to have me only work until January 25th. They didn't like that my doctor recommended I only work 7 hours a day; they wanted me in at full capacity or not at all. It didn't matter that I had a medical certificate from my doctor saying I could work again and had to be eased in the first month back. I wanted to err on the side of caution because I don’t trust the people I work with to give a damn about my state. They’ve already treated my heart attack like I was an inconvenience to them, so I knew if I returned to that environment full-time like nothing happened, I’d be risking my health.
The entire situation was ridiculous. I ended up arguing with the VP, and then finally she relented because I was still working within the bounds of my contract. We had a meeting after the new year's holidays, where I finally dropped the bomb that I have a lawyer. At first, the VP tried to say that because of my poor health I’m unable to do my duties even if I’m recovering, and for that reason they aren’t renewing my contract/keeping me after March. I said that this illness is temporary and therefore letting me go for that reason is not exactly okay. And then when she tired to end the meeting, I dropped that I have a lawyer.
She panicked, fetched the principal, and that's when things got heated.
They called in the principal and he said… I’m a bad teacher (?!?!?), and there’s been student and parent complaints about me. And oh my GOD I saw stars. I was livid; I’ve had nothing but stellar reviews from observations and my students adore me. I have that in writing, too. Where is this supposed proof that I'm a bad teacher? According to Japanese labor laws, if I am apparently a bad teacher, I should've gotten feedback and been trained. The principal just kept giving me vague answers about me being bad and refused to offer any proof that I’ve had negative feedback, and when I kept asking why I haven’t been trained if there is something wrong and told what it is, he kept deflecting. I said I would talk to my lawyer more, and that was that.
I ended up working there for two more weeks. The VP continued to bully me passive aggressively, and I was frankly shocked she did that when she knows I have a lawyer. On my birthday in January there was a meeting, and the VP just kept slandering me for things. For example, I was assigned cleaning duties this week even though my Doctor’s Note says I can’t do labor like that. My work besties decided to help me, because we help each other. And so at the meeting, without naming my name, the VP just kept saying that good workers “don’t let others take on their work, they do it themselves.” It doesn’t matter that I literally physically can’t do it, or that I have a doctor’s note excusing it. She doesn’t see it as teamwork. She just badmouthed me over and over (and even told everyone at the meeting that a lawyer has contacted the school).
Again, my name wasn’t mentioned. But anybody can put two and two together.
Finally, it was time to try and see if I was going to extend only working 7 hours a day. My doctor examined me, and with the most severe expression I've ever seen on him, he took my hands in his and even shook them a little. Gently, but still shook them.
"“Fujikake-san, if you keep going back to that job, you will end up in the ER in less than two weeks again. Maybe even dead.”
What do you even say to that? What do you even do? I’ve never had a doctor literally take my hands and beg me. I started crying in his office. Lawyer told me to absolutely obey the advice, and put me on indefinite medical leave. I haven't gone back since, and anything to deal with that job has been handled via my lawyer instead of me.
For the first two, maybe three weeks, my heart was ridiculously unstable. Even the slightest anxiety ("Oh no, I might be late!" "Oh gosh, I forgot to take out the laundry") made my heart rate skyrocket. Happiness, too, caused my heart to race so badly my chest would feel like in was in a vice grip. Bodies can't tell the difference between excitement and fear. But now that I longer have the overlying "threat" of having to face the VP or her passive aggressive behavior, my heart has finally calmed down a bit. It still sometimes is a little high for no reason (between 100-110 bpm), but it hasn't done the intense racing + shortness of breath in the past two weeks.
I... think I'm healing.
In the meantime, my lawyer just began litigation. My job refused to change their minds about letting me go based on the heart attack. They also insist I've somehow lied to them about my health; Female Work Bestie let slip one day that I had my thyroid removed due to malignant tumors. However, that was treated back in 2012. There's nothing malignant left, and my thyroid hormone levels are normal. Besides, it has nothing to do with my heart attack, and doesn't affect my ability to work at all. I'm amazed they're trying to claim that as a reason for letting me go, but that's just more things they handed on a silver platter for my lawyer.
So, here I stand, somehow still alive. Unable to work until this is all over in April. Wouldn't want to risk my heart health anyway. Can't file for partial salary payment via insurance until April either. I ended up in the ER back in January too, probably from so much anxiety over knowing I was going to meet the VP and still being fragile. It's hard to tell what's happening when you can't physically take a look at your heart to check if it's still damaged. But time will tell.
This has been excruciatingly long, so thank you for reading. The sad thing is, I've left out a lot of details! But hopefully I'll be able to do a proper Vlog to talk about what happened, and I hope my story will be helpful to anyone who works in Japan or is thinking about working here. Don't get me wrong, I love living here. My father is from Japan, and I'm very happy here. But Japanese work culture can be very toxic, and the things I've dealt with, from being "punished" for reporting harassment to how they are viewing me as a nuisance for being on medical leave are sadly not abnormal.
Now that my brain is mush, I think I'll seek out some lunch. Thank you all for reading! And if you would like to help at all with making sure I survive, my Ko-Fi is here: https://ko-fi.com/christine_daae
...eek.
This has been the most terrifying time of my life. Multiple ER visits, hospitalization, lawyer visits + phone calls, and a doctor taking my hands in his, begging me to stay out of the grave.
Goodness. I knew I was tenderhearted, but I certainly never expected this.
Right. Let's begin. First things first, I cannot publicly name names, nor give many details about where I work or who my coworkers are. Libel laws in Japan are incredibly strict - even if something is true and can be proven, if it damages the reputation of a person, business, etc? They can sue right back. It's very frustrating, especially when you're trying to pursue justice and warn others.
So, with that in mind?
I work at Toxic Job. Toxic Job is An Elementary School in Japan. What kind of school (as in is it public, private, etc)? Can't say. The dramatis personae of this (unfortunately) very real tale are:
Me, bewilderingly
Senpai
Female Work Bestie
Male Work Bestie
The Vice Principal
As you may know, the academic year begins in April in Japan. I was hired in February last year, and back then I was feeling incredibly positive about my life. I had just moved into a cozy little house that wasn't much more than the apartment I'd lived in with my ex-husband. I was finally making enough money to live, though I was working three part-time jobs. To my delight, I had been offered a full-time position starting in April of 2024, and I would make the most amount of money I've ever made in Japan. Plus, I was going to have private insurance, pension and taxes taken care of, etc. Who could ask for anything more, right?
...right?
In my personal experience, one of the biggest red flags that a job is Secretly Toxic is if it tries too hard to say, "We're a family." I was surprised to be asked to go to an overnight retreat with my new coworkers. The two days there with people I had never met before save perhaps one or two at my interview were filled with "teambuilding activities", and the purpose was to not only introduce the school, but also have us bond.
That's nice. So, when can I actually start preparing for my classes? When can I know what to expect for my actual job?
To my dismay, the school was disorganized enough that I didn't even sign my contract until five days after the semester began. Underneath all of the Rainbows and Sunshine and Everything is Great and We're Family was an entirely different picture. And to my shock, everything was chaos. Head Teacher quit two weeks into the semester, leaving the English department abandoned. Textbooks for the semester was a mess. The curriculum was a joke. It was all ridiculously stressful, and I'm barely going into it (because public).
My coworkers kept me sane... except my Senpai.
Senpai isn't the kind of person who should be someone's senpai, and this is not their fault. Perhaps this is the naïve part of me that wants desperately to believe in the good of others, but Senpai was out of their depth. Senpai didn't have the management experience to be Head Teacher, and was simply tossed into the role because they had been there the longest. I don't know what was going on in their head. I can't speak for them. But eventually, my daily life became extremely stressful because of them.
Senpai began to micromanage me to a frankly toxic degree. It got eventually to a point where whenever I heard them inhale to speak, I was on edge. Unfortunately, I am a people-pleaser through and through, and I always want to help and to maintain peace. But Senpai honestly made it almost impossible to work well. They would say things like, "Hey, did you know that I'm gonna be the one to decide if you keep your job?" Of course this would make me panic! I immediately wondered if I was doing a bad job! It was always tense with Senpai, and I felt like I was constantly looking over my shoulder.
I really believe if Senpai hadn't been tossed into that role, we would've gotten along okay. I think Senpai was under a lot of pressure, and that was affecting how they interact with others. Maybe I'm being too kind or forgiving. But ultimately, I honestly forgive Senpai.
Who I don't forgive... is the Vice Principal.
Eventually, things hit a breaking point for me. I was far too stressed because of Senpai, and I'm Very Bad at Confrontation. I felt like I was unable to really do my job because of the micromanaging and power harassment, even if it was unintentional on Senpai's part. So, I went to the VP and had a meeting. I had chronicled Senpai's behavior and named instances + dates. The VP heard me out and said that this kind of behavior from Senpai was unacceptable, and the VP would talk to them.
It never happened.
Eventually, the VP would confess to Female Work Bestie and Male Work Bestie that despite promising me that she would talk to Senpai? She refused to do it, because she "felt sorry for Senpai". Others had problems with Senpai as well, so she felt like we were "ganging up on Senpai unfairly" and wanted us to solve it ourselves.
This crushed me. I had relied on her to help me, to correct this behavior that was frankly causing me severe anxiety over a period of months. But instead, I was rewarded with her disdain. Soon, she began to take Senpai's place in the micromanaging and power harassment of me, but unlike Senpai, I don't think this was unintentional. She even gossiped negatively about me to my coworkers (including one incident I overheard, where she literally immediately turned around and was pleasant to my face, right after talking badly about me).
If you've worked in Japan long enough, you probably recognize this pattern. Because I dared "cause a problem" by filing a formal complaint, I'm now the bad guy. The VP had it out for me, and there was absolutely nothing I could do. I think this is why I forgive Senpai over the VP. Senpai is just... extremely flawed and probably not very self-aware. I wish them insight and more kindness learned. But the VP intentionally made a decision to not only refuse to help me, but participate in the exact same mistreatment, only worse.
Then I had my heart attack.
It was the day before a very important school festival in November. The month leading up to it had been chaos with costumes, props, rehearsal, the entire nine yards. I was so stressed out because of how badly the VP had it out for me, I even forgot my lunch that day. I was a jittery mess, but trying to hold it together for the kids as best as I could. Everything was for the kids.
That was when my heart started to race out of nowhere. Once. Twice. Three times.
Concerned, I went to the school nurse. I showed her my Apple Watch, where it said my heart rate spiked to 150 out of nowhere multiple times in the past few minutes. But then someone needed me in the gym, so I said I would come back shortly if I was still feeling off.
I never should've left her office.
The next thing I knew, I was falling. The ceiling of the gym blossomed before my vision as my heart clenched. It felt as if I couldn't breathe, and a damning tingling raced up my arm, numbing me to everything but a single fact.
Oh god. I think I'm having a heart attack.
Tears were falling down my face; I couldn't speak well, and the only way I could think of for how to explain what was going on was to show my smartwatch to my coworkers. The moment they saw 192 bpm on the display, they called an ambulance. I was sent to the ER and hospitalized, where I was given a portable ECG to monitor my heart during my stay.
At least the meals weren't terrible. To be honest, they were decently yummy, but certainly not the world's best food.
As soon as I was released out of the hospital, I went to my regular doctor. Thankfully, he is also a cardiologist (I should have guessed by the literal model of the human heart on his desk), so I felt ridiculously relieved. He's been my doctor for a while, so he was extremely shocked. I wasn't even 40 years old yet and I had a heart attack? Blood pressure was 160/90 and I had stage two hypertension? Yikes! Given that I grew up as a competitive swimmer, I had excellent heart health previously. My job-mandated medical exam back in July even proved that. No previous abnormalities. Nothing. He put me on medical leave for a month, fully expecting to extend it.
My life has been chaos ever since.
First things first, I sought out a lawyer once I was formally on medical leave. I will be happy to recommend him once all of this is over, but until then, his identity will be a secret. He reviewed my case and then went with me to try and apply for 労災 (worker’s compensation) at the labor office. Unfortunately, I didn't have any recordings of what Senpai said to me, nor the meeting with the VP where she promised to talk to Senpai and then never did. Without these things, we couldn't prove that the harassment and anxiety from mistreatment were the direct cause of my heart attack. So, 労災 was out.
After that, I went to apply for 傷病手当金 (accident and sickness benefits) from medical insurance. I thought this was going to be done in real time, but the private insurance I have via Toxic Job doesn't allow anything to be filled out by my doctor until after the period of medical leave has finished. So, for the first medical leave, I couldn't even submit it until after December 26th. It honestly is disappointing, however national health insurance typically pays 60% of your salary. My private insurance will pay 80%. So, even though it's delayed, at least it's a larger sum.
My job, naturally, threw a fit about all of it.
Me: This medical certificate verifies that I had a heart attack three weeks ago. My leave is until the 26th of December
My job: So, are you coming to work before then?
Me: ….??????????? No??????? I’m on medical leave???? Why would I come to work?
My job: But we have closing ceremonies for the end of the semester on the 21st
Me: My medical leave is until the 26th. You have a physical copy in your hands that verifies that.
My job: So…. You’re not coming in before the 26th?
Me: WHY. WOULD. I.
In the meantime, I learned far more about the Japanese legal system then I ever thought possible (understandably). I'll go into that on another post, because it's a lot. A lot. But my job began to show signs that I was going to be illegally dismissed, and finally on Christmas Day (!!!!!), the day before I was supposed to be off medical leave, my job sent me a letter saying that due to being gone for "too long" on medical leave from my heart attack, they were letting me go in 30 days.
This was it. This was the ammo my lawyer needed to pursue litigation based on illegal dismissal (不当解雇). I was not permanently injured, so they didn't have a right to let me go. They tried to cite that according to their own handbook, they could let me go for any reason that they decided internally, because I was still on probation. But that's not true either. Even if you're on probation, you still have the same rights as a full employee. Your employer cannot just get rid of you because they feel like it. They must have a legally valid reason and be able to prove it. Anything less is illegal dismissal.
Originally, their plan was to have me only work until January 25th. They didn't like that my doctor recommended I only work 7 hours a day; they wanted me in at full capacity or not at all. It didn't matter that I had a medical certificate from my doctor saying I could work again and had to be eased in the first month back. I wanted to err on the side of caution because I don’t trust the people I work with to give a damn about my state. They’ve already treated my heart attack like I was an inconvenience to them, so I knew if I returned to that environment full-time like nothing happened, I’d be risking my health.
The entire situation was ridiculous. I ended up arguing with the VP, and then finally she relented because I was still working within the bounds of my contract. We had a meeting after the new year's holidays, where I finally dropped the bomb that I have a lawyer. At first, the VP tried to say that because of my poor health I’m unable to do my duties even if I’m recovering, and for that reason they aren’t renewing my contract/keeping me after March. I said that this illness is temporary and therefore letting me go for that reason is not exactly okay. And then when she tired to end the meeting, I dropped that I have a lawyer.
She panicked, fetched the principal, and that's when things got heated.
They called in the principal and he said… I’m a bad teacher (?!?!?), and there’s been student and parent complaints about me. And oh my GOD I saw stars. I was livid; I’ve had nothing but stellar reviews from observations and my students adore me. I have that in writing, too. Where is this supposed proof that I'm a bad teacher? According to Japanese labor laws, if I am apparently a bad teacher, I should've gotten feedback and been trained. The principal just kept giving me vague answers about me being bad and refused to offer any proof that I’ve had negative feedback, and when I kept asking why I haven’t been trained if there is something wrong and told what it is, he kept deflecting. I said I would talk to my lawyer more, and that was that.
I ended up working there for two more weeks. The VP continued to bully me passive aggressively, and I was frankly shocked she did that when she knows I have a lawyer. On my birthday in January there was a meeting, and the VP just kept slandering me for things. For example, I was assigned cleaning duties this week even though my Doctor’s Note says I can’t do labor like that. My work besties decided to help me, because we help each other. And so at the meeting, without naming my name, the VP just kept saying that good workers “don’t let others take on their work, they do it themselves.” It doesn’t matter that I literally physically can’t do it, or that I have a doctor’s note excusing it. She doesn’t see it as teamwork. She just badmouthed me over and over (and even told everyone at the meeting that a lawyer has contacted the school).
Again, my name wasn’t mentioned. But anybody can put two and two together.
Finally, it was time to try and see if I was going to extend only working 7 hours a day. My doctor examined me, and with the most severe expression I've ever seen on him, he took my hands in his and even shook them a little. Gently, but still shook them.
"“Fujikake-san, if you keep going back to that job, you will end up in the ER in less than two weeks again. Maybe even dead.”
What do you even say to that? What do you even do? I’ve never had a doctor literally take my hands and beg me. I started crying in his office. Lawyer told me to absolutely obey the advice, and put me on indefinite medical leave. I haven't gone back since, and anything to deal with that job has been handled via my lawyer instead of me.
For the first two, maybe three weeks, my heart was ridiculously unstable. Even the slightest anxiety ("Oh no, I might be late!" "Oh gosh, I forgot to take out the laundry") made my heart rate skyrocket. Happiness, too, caused my heart to race so badly my chest would feel like in was in a vice grip. Bodies can't tell the difference between excitement and fear. But now that I longer have the overlying "threat" of having to face the VP or her passive aggressive behavior, my heart has finally calmed down a bit. It still sometimes is a little high for no reason (between 100-110 bpm), but it hasn't done the intense racing + shortness of breath in the past two weeks.
I... think I'm healing.
In the meantime, my lawyer just began litigation. My job refused to change their minds about letting me go based on the heart attack. They also insist I've somehow lied to them about my health; Female Work Bestie let slip one day that I had my thyroid removed due to malignant tumors. However, that was treated back in 2012. There's nothing malignant left, and my thyroid hormone levels are normal. Besides, it has nothing to do with my heart attack, and doesn't affect my ability to work at all. I'm amazed they're trying to claim that as a reason for letting me go, but that's just more things they handed on a silver platter for my lawyer.
So, here I stand, somehow still alive. Unable to work until this is all over in April. Wouldn't want to risk my heart health anyway. Can't file for partial salary payment via insurance until April either. I ended up in the ER back in January too, probably from so much anxiety over knowing I was going to meet the VP and still being fragile. It's hard to tell what's happening when you can't physically take a look at your heart to check if it's still damaged. But time will tell.
This has been excruciatingly long, so thank you for reading. The sad thing is, I've left out a lot of details! But hopefully I'll be able to do a proper Vlog to talk about what happened, and I hope my story will be helpful to anyone who works in Japan or is thinking about working here. Don't get me wrong, I love living here. My father is from Japan, and I'm very happy here. But Japanese work culture can be very toxic, and the things I've dealt with, from being "punished" for reporting harassment to how they are viewing me as a nuisance for being on medical leave are sadly not abnormal.
Now that my brain is mush, I think I'll seek out some lunch. Thank you all for reading! And if you would like to help at all with making sure I survive, my Ko-Fi is here: https://ko-fi.com/christine_daae
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Date: 2025-02-23 02:29 pm (UTC)