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christinedaaeOh, hello! Did you know I had an actual, real life heart attack last week? Exciting, no?
...No. :(
How I wish I were joking, but perhaps I ought to start at the beginning. Another long hiatus between entries (almost an entire year? goodness), and given how crazy life has been recently, I'm unsurprised. So much has happened since I last wrote in my journal, and I hope everyone has been faring well since.
In all fairness, this year started out with quite a lot of lovely hope. Fingers crossed (and toes! and ribbons!) that it will end on a much higher note than how November has been.
Back in February, I moved from my old apartment that I shared with my ex-husband into a proper house. I couldn't be more thrilled. I have a room dedicated solely to kimono dressing, and I've been enjoying decorating it whenever I can. Some friends gave me the loveliest housewarming gifts. My new house even came with a gorgeous tree that blooms with cherry blossoms every spring. It's been wonderful starting over in a new home that I didn't share with my ex-husband, a truly fresh start at long last. Being able to be in a home that is mine, where less than pleasant memories tug at my mind and insert themselves at random, inconvenient times...
Yes. This particular change has been so needed.
Remember how last year I wished to start out 2024 financially secure? Well, my prayers were answered... or so I thought. (Cue rather foreboding organ chords!) Starting in April, I accepted a full-time position teaching at an international elementary school. It's my first time working full-time since winter 2022, which has been quite a change.
To be honest, I rather liked working multiple part-time jobs; the variety in my daily routine was welcome and I had more time to myself. However, I have much more financial security, and I can't say I'm ungrateful for these things. Financial stability is nothing to frown at, especially after struggling for so long thanks to losing my job during the pandemic lockdown.
Time is something I tend not to have. My schedule has me working from 8:15 am until 4:30 pm (Monday and Thursday) or 5:30 pm (Tuesday, Wednesday, and Friday). At first, I was quite happy to have my evenings free, and make no mistake- I am still happy about that. But I was so tired and overworked that I just collapsed in bed every night around 8 pm, sometimes even earlier.
At first, I thought the mystery had been solved: I was diagnosed with a severe case of anemia (my ferratin levels were a dastardly 2.4), and once all jokes about me being the quisessential modern gothic heroine were made, I set to it. Diligently taking my medicine, making sure I took it with orange juice (if you know, you know) and praying desperately for some real changes that would make me far less likely to end up a zombie NPC in a Resident Evil title.
Alas, no amount of iron supplements in the world can make up for a truly toxic work environment.
To my shock and horror, I collapsed in the gymnasium of my school. Heart rate was 192, my entire arm was numb, and breathing felt like it was about to quickly become a dream of the past. I am eternally grateful to my coworkers, who called an ambulance and had me at the hospital in record time. I spent three nights under careful observation and was released with papers to take to my GP, confirming the worst.
I'd had a heart attack. I'm not even 40 years old, and I'd had a heart attack.
I haven't been back to work since and I've been encouraged to stay away. My doctor says that it's related to intense stress, and yes, it was formally declared a heart attack. I wish I didn't relate to this article, but I do: on workplace bullying and heart attacks.
There isn't any more I can disclose publicly, sadly. I'll have to keep you all guessing for now. Any questions or speculation you may have I'll have to decline or ignore, but for now... thank you for reading. I'll be okay! (I hope?)
...No. :(
How I wish I were joking, but perhaps I ought to start at the beginning. Another long hiatus between entries (almost an entire year? goodness), and given how crazy life has been recently, I'm unsurprised. So much has happened since I last wrote in my journal, and I hope everyone has been faring well since.
In all fairness, this year started out with quite a lot of lovely hope. Fingers crossed (and toes! and ribbons!) that it will end on a much higher note than how November has been.
Back in February, I moved from my old apartment that I shared with my ex-husband into a proper house. I couldn't be more thrilled. I have a room dedicated solely to kimono dressing, and I've been enjoying decorating it whenever I can. Some friends gave me the loveliest housewarming gifts. My new house even came with a gorgeous tree that blooms with cherry blossoms every spring. It's been wonderful starting over in a new home that I didn't share with my ex-husband, a truly fresh start at long last. Being able to be in a home that is mine, where less than pleasant memories tug at my mind and insert themselves at random, inconvenient times...
Yes. This particular change has been so needed.
Remember how last year I wished to start out 2024 financially secure? Well, my prayers were answered... or so I thought. (Cue rather foreboding organ chords!) Starting in April, I accepted a full-time position teaching at an international elementary school. It's my first time working full-time since winter 2022, which has been quite a change.
To be honest, I rather liked working multiple part-time jobs; the variety in my daily routine was welcome and I had more time to myself. However, I have much more financial security, and I can't say I'm ungrateful for these things. Financial stability is nothing to frown at, especially after struggling for so long thanks to losing my job during the pandemic lockdown.
Time is something I tend not to have. My schedule has me working from 8:15 am until 4:30 pm (Monday and Thursday) or 5:30 pm (Tuesday, Wednesday, and Friday). At first, I was quite happy to have my evenings free, and make no mistake- I am still happy about that. But I was so tired and overworked that I just collapsed in bed every night around 8 pm, sometimes even earlier.
At first, I thought the mystery had been solved: I was diagnosed with a severe case of anemia (my ferratin levels were a dastardly 2.4), and once all jokes about me being the quisessential modern gothic heroine were made, I set to it. Diligently taking my medicine, making sure I took it with orange juice (if you know, you know) and praying desperately for some real changes that would make me far less likely to end up a zombie NPC in a Resident Evil title.
Alas, no amount of iron supplements in the world can make up for a truly toxic work environment.
To my shock and horror, I collapsed in the gymnasium of my school. Heart rate was 192, my entire arm was numb, and breathing felt like it was about to quickly become a dream of the past. I am eternally grateful to my coworkers, who called an ambulance and had me at the hospital in record time. I spent three nights under careful observation and was released with papers to take to my GP, confirming the worst.
I'd had a heart attack. I'm not even 40 years old, and I'd had a heart attack.
I haven't been back to work since and I've been encouraged to stay away. My doctor says that it's related to intense stress, and yes, it was formally declared a heart attack. I wish I didn't relate to this article, but I do: on workplace bullying and heart attacks.
There isn't any more I can disclose publicly, sadly. I'll have to keep you all guessing for now. Any questions or speculation you may have I'll have to decline or ignore, but for now... thank you for reading. I'll be okay! (I hope?)
