![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
christinedaae"The Nightingale in fervent song
Doth woo the rose the whole night long,
But to his lay no ear she lendeth,
Her head in innocence she bendeth.
Thus oft the lover sings a strain,
To his guitar, of grief and pain,
With glowing love he hopeth, feareth,
But even if the maiden heareth,
She doth not know of whom he sings,
Or why his song so sadly rings."
-Rimsky-Korsakov
Well. Talk about blowing the dust off a journal! The last time I updated this particular blog was... oh my goodness, *2009!* I was still in grad school back then, living in Shanghai, having just changed my major from Chinese Literature to Chinese Philosophy. Since then, I graduated with my MA, returned to the US for two years, met someone and moved to Poland, married them while living in Poland for two years, returned to Shanghai for another two years as a university instructor of PhD candidates, moved to Japan, got fully certified in kimono dressing here in Osaka, and have been in Japan ever since. I'm now in the process of divorcing, stitching my life back together piece by piece.
Where has the time gone?
It's so strange how much I've changed and yet how little I have since then. The ways I've grown have allowed me to not only overcome things I never even knew I needed to overcome (ah, the joys of discovering that things you clung to were toxic and did not serve anyone, least of all yourself) and yet... finding the parts of you that you thought had been extinguished, buried under the relentlessly merciless demands of an overwhelming reality that wants nothing more than to force you to being a cog in its soulless machine.
Thankfully, I've never been one to surrender my dreams to conformity.
So, here I am, once again attempting to genuinely blog my whimsical and fleeing thoughts, sharing the deeply personal process of reclaiming myself. I haven't truly blogged like this in ages, and I hope to find some comfort in doing it again now. I've done a little bit of it on my personal tumblr, but otherwise not much. Still, it's not like I've got anything to lose, ne?
Doth woo the rose the whole night long,
But to his lay no ear she lendeth,
Her head in innocence she bendeth.
Thus oft the lover sings a strain,
To his guitar, of grief and pain,
With glowing love he hopeth, feareth,
But even if the maiden heareth,
She doth not know of whom he sings,
Or why his song so sadly rings."
-Rimsky-Korsakov
Well. Talk about blowing the dust off a journal! The last time I updated this particular blog was... oh my goodness, *2009!* I was still in grad school back then, living in Shanghai, having just changed my major from Chinese Literature to Chinese Philosophy. Since then, I graduated with my MA, returned to the US for two years, met someone and moved to Poland, married them while living in Poland for two years, returned to Shanghai for another two years as a university instructor of PhD candidates, moved to Japan, got fully certified in kimono dressing here in Osaka, and have been in Japan ever since. I'm now in the process of divorcing, stitching my life back together piece by piece.
Where has the time gone?
It's so strange how much I've changed and yet how little I have since then. The ways I've grown have allowed me to not only overcome things I never even knew I needed to overcome (ah, the joys of discovering that things you clung to were toxic and did not serve anyone, least of all yourself) and yet... finding the parts of you that you thought had been extinguished, buried under the relentlessly merciless demands of an overwhelming reality that wants nothing more than to force you to being a cog in its soulless machine.
Thankfully, I've never been one to surrender my dreams to conformity.
So, here I am, once again attempting to genuinely blog my whimsical and fleeing thoughts, sharing the deeply personal process of reclaiming myself. I haven't truly blogged like this in ages, and I hope to find some comfort in doing it again now. I've done a little bit of it on my personal tumblr, but otherwise not much. Still, it's not like I've got anything to lose, ne?
no subject
Date: 2023-08-28 04:23 am (UTC)Want to be friends? <3333
no subject
Date: 2023-08-29 12:06 am (UTC)